 The Art of Being Seen and Heard: How Can I Support You?
I hear this phrase a lot, “I don’t feel seen!”. We as humans long to be understood by others.
Our society has become so individualized, that it’s CLEAR this need is more and more desired and more difficult to obtain.
In order to be seen and heard, we have to be vulnerable, and express ourselves. Get US on the outside, ya know, for people to see and hear! 🙂 Seems like a no brainer, right? And it’s so complicated.
How comfortable are you expressing how you feel or what you need?
Here’s the most telling scenario I’ve encountered. When you hear the possibly dreaded words,
* “How can I support YOU?”*
Is your knee jerk, not a beat missed, blatting out of the words, “Oh I don’t know! I can’t think of anything! I’ll let you know if anything comes to me!”
And magically nothing does come to us, we retreat back into ourselves not getting the support we need, not feeling seen or heard and feeling more alone than ever.
Since often it feels easier to give support rather than ask for it, I invite you to do a little exercise as an intentional practice: When wanting to support a friend, co-worker, or loved one, instead of asking “What is something that I can do to support you?” try on offering something more concrete that you can deliver, like: “Would it feel supportive if I texted you to check in later this week?” or “Might scheduling a walk and talk after your big meeting feel helpful?” This shift in language offers action in support and ease vs. pressure on the receiver to come up with something. It gives that knee jerk reaction of “Oh nothing!” an actual, tangible place to rest.
When offering this tangible support, take a breath and notice the receiver. How does that land with them? How does their response feel in you? Does this interaction or even IMAGINING this kind of interaction give you ideas about what ways those close to you could give YOU support?
Sit with it. Write down some ideas about actions that might helo you feel supported in a moment of want or need. It might be as simple as “I want to share a story, and I’d like us not to solve any pri=oblems. I just really need presence while I share”.
Our part of being seen and heard is learning what we need and helping others know us. To be seen and heard fully.
I hear this phrase a lot, “I don’t feel seen!”. We as humans long to be understood by others.
Our society has become so individualized, that it’s CLEAR this need is more and more desired and more difficult to obtain.
In order to be seen and heard, we have to be vulnerable, and express ourselves. Get US on the outside, ya know, for people to see and hear! 🙂 Seems like a no brainer, right? And it’s so complicated.
How comfortable are you expressing how you feel or what you need?
Here’s the most telling scenario I’ve encountered. When you hear the possibly dreaded words,
* “How can I support YOU?”*
Is your knee jerk, not a beat missed, blatting out of the words, “Oh I don’t know! I can’t think of anything! I’ll let you know if anything comes to me!”
And magically nothing does come to us, we retreat back into ourselves not getting the support we need, not feeling seen or heard and feeling more alone than ever.
Since often it feels easier to give support rather than ask for it, I invite you to do a little exercise as an intentional practice: When wanting to support a friend, co-worker, or loved one, instead of asking “What is something that I can do to support you?” try on offering something more concrete that you can deliver, like: “Would it feel supportive if I texted you to check in later this week?” or “Might scheduling a walk and talk after your big meeting feel helpful?” This shift in language offers action in support and ease vs. pressure on the receiver to come up with something. It gives that knee jerk reaction of “Oh nothing!” an actual, tangible place to rest.
When offering this tangible support, take a breath and notice the receiver. How does that land with them? How does their response feel in you? Does this interaction or even IMAGINING this kind of interaction give you ideas about what ways those close to you could give YOU support?
Sit with it. Write down some ideas about actions that might helo you feel supported in a moment of want or need. It might be as simple as “I want to share a story, and I’d like us not to solve any pri=oblems. I just really need presence while I share”.
Our part of being seen and heard is learning what we need and helping others know us. To be seen and heard fully.
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